WEd. 8-10-05

Wednesday 8-10-05:Well I got up today and messed around and did a fast radio show. I then went to Anderson to meet Christie and Stacey and Statia for lunch at Crackle Barrel and then I brought Statia back to the office and then I came home. I was in a pretty good mood and it slowly went down heel. I don't know if it is me or what it is but when I plan something and look so forward to it and it doesn't happen I get really upset and down. Well It really got me thinking today and I called some people and then I couldn't handle it so I just went and worked out and finally joined the Y. I was using a pass because I didn't know if I wanted to fork out the money but hey its only money right. So I worked out and then came home and took a shower and now I am working on my website and I see a lot of people listening to my audio so I might as well knock out the bad mood and do a show. If I had 50 friends then I think I wouldn't care so much if something feel thought but I choose not to have that many because it is really hard for me to do that. So with the few friends that I do have it is sometimes really hard on them because I ask so much out of them. So I need to figure out how to let them live their lives and me just deal. I know that looking forward to stuff and it not happening is not the way to go. So be it maybe I need to just not plan anything else and if stuff happens it does. I must feel different about things then other people but I am sorry.. I think maybe I need to distance myself a little bit. It is different I think for other people because they can log on and see me and or know what I am doing 24/7 then it is not as big as deal for others to see me. PLUS people are very busy and when I cant see them because of that I get upset and angry. I know I am really messed up lol. Well I am working on it and maybe I just need to step back for a few or something. Well I shouldn't talk so much so I will just shut up. Thanks everyone for visiting my site.