Monday 8-1-05

Monday 8-1-05:Well today started off very low even though it was my birthday I was in a down mood from last night and was just having a really hard time this morning. I am trying to work some issues that I have out. 1) Control Issues... always having to be in control of what is going on and who is around and how long they are around for. 2) Self-Esteem Issues... I think I am the most ugliest person that I know and I really worry about meeting new people and or giving them a chance to get to know me. 3) Patience Issues... I have none, I mean none at all. Well I could go on but I think those are a big part of the problems that I have with things going on. I need to relax and enjoy what is there for the time it is there and not want more then other people can give or take what I can get. I am truly sorry to people that I have had issues with lately and I know with your patience with me that I can work them out and try and be a better person. I had a ok lunch (ate at the park and watched a DVD in the car). I then came back to work and got a lot of things done. I then left work and talked to a few people on the phone and then got a call from Christie asking to come over for my birthday (which totally surprised me and in fact made me cry). I then had company (Christie and Stacey) came over and brought me presents and cake and themselves. I can't remember the last time that I had such a nice time for my birthday and it was just perfect. I wish you all could of been here to enjoy it with me. I hope and pray that I have many more memories with them. Thanks everyone for everything. I have way to many people to thank but you all know how much you mean to me. Thanks so much also to dtjam.net for the picture of me in the hat and thanks so much to this precious little girl (Krystal - Kim's (AUS) daughter) Thanks so much...