Tues 8-23-05

Tuesday 8-23-05:Well this is the 4th and final time I am getting up. I have been up and down again all night. I went to bed around 2:00am and got up about 2:30 and then 3:15 and then 4:10 and now it is 6:10. I laid in bed till now awake from 5:00am just trying not to go back to sleep. I don't understand how you can have so many of the SAME dreams about someone over and over and not be able to stop them. I even thought if I tell my dream it might help not to have it so I told Stacey and that didn't work lol. Trust me I wish there was a pill that you can take to make you not dream sometime. I got up and now I am updating this. I hope everyone has a great day. I am worried about mine. I mean I feel good about getting most of the stuff off my chest. But I worry that I lost that friendship. I want to thank Carol again I got another card in the mail yesterday and it was a great card.... Thanks, Well I am going to leave now and head to work I have a long day ahead of me I think. I went to work today and had a bad day things just didn't seem to go good on the Server Side. I then went to lunch around 1:00 and came back and finished out the afternoon. I just felt so bad I left around 4:30 and came home and took my pills and just went to bed. I didn't dream at all (YEAH) lol I then got up around 10:30 or so and talked to Stacey and Carol and Kim for a few and some others and then I took a shower that felt great and got me something to eat. Now I am updating the blog and checking things on the net. I am so sorry to all of you that I haven't been on much or been to talkative in emails or stuff. I just have a lot going on at work and just not feeling well. But I did want to say I was sorry for that. Tomorrow I have an appointment at the Shrinks lol to talk about stuff and just try to balance stuff out. So I am a little nervous about that. I also have a long day ahead of me working with the Citrix Server. I also feel pretty good that some day I might have a friendship back with someone but until them as long as we just know it is ok to be different then it will be ok. I hope you guys are doing ok and if you need anything get a hold of me via email or call me 765-717-9819 and I will try and help as much as I can how ever I can. I am going to finish up some things and then crash but I just wanted to tell you all thanks for caring and sending the nice emails and things.