BAD BAD DAY

I got up today and just started off in a down mood.. I had some dreams about some things in the past and then I woke up and just wanted to go back to bed. I hung out around the house and then went out for a few and then came back to the house. I cooked dinner and still the most down day lately I had had. Sometimes (well a lot of the times) I hate my looks, I hate my life and I hate feeling empty and alone. I honestly don't think I will ever be married or have kids but in a real feeling it sucks because I want to share things with someone but.. I also hate not having people to go to the movies with or just out to eat with out bugging people. I honestly don't think I am going to talk about that job in Indy just because it has to be a long long haul back and forth for the first month or so with needing to get things into shape and then to be stuck driving 3 hours a day that isn't much better. Even though sometime I might be able to be here 2 days or 3 days a week and only there 2 days a week we don't know if that would ever happen for sure. It sounded great and the boss would be great but that is just a long way to be. Oh Well maybe that is the place for me I don't know ya know. IT would be great if it was starting off 2 days a week and then the rest here but... Anyway I hope you all have a great evening. I am going to take my ugly butt to bed it is 9:00. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me. I even looked around online to buy me something for Christmas and couldn't find anything.