Sickless Saturday...

I got up today felling pretty darn good. I must first start off by saying "Carol Was Right".. lol.. She has been telling me for a long time about something called "AirBorne". I tried it and I did it 2x Friday Evening and it worked great I guess. I felt bad then and now today I am great. WOW never again will I not listen to Dr. Carol. Anyway I headed out and picked up breakfast and went to the Office. I changed the office cam to my friends Patrick's site (Camstreams) and then someone scared me when they came into the office and it was Tina. lol. We talked and she ended up leaving after a while of work. I worked till around 2 and left. I came home and worked on some things at the house and talked to my brother "Jeff" about the cams and other things and then talked on the phone some and now I am just relaxing and hanging out. I might go to Wal-Mart to see what I can find. lol. Oh below is a picture of my office at work. OK fast update.. While I am still awake.. I went to Wal-Mart like I said and then stopped by The Anchor to see a friend that plays there in a band and I talked to him for a min and then met up with Jenniffer and we talked and hung out and laughed at people and had a really good time. Then I started getting a different feeling so I told her I needed some air and we went outside and then Mark asked me if I was OK that I didn't look OK and I walked around the building and wow did I get sick. WOW.... I then walked back around and went in and had some water and we sat down and had a GREAT night. It is now 3:30am lol and I am going to bed. Thanks Jenniffer........

Fine Friday....

I got up today and headed out to Indy with "Little Man" HD. We stopped and got something to drink and headed on down the road.. I got to the Vet and everything went great. I left there and dropped HD off at the SPA for a Treatment. I headed to have lunch at "You Got It" Hooters. I left there and picked up little man and headed home. I came home and worked around the house and then went to eat. After that I went to a few stores and then back to the house where I just chilled out and relaxed. I think I might put the remote cam on the house roof not the Garage so you get a better shot. Now just trying to figure out how.. lol.. Below are some pictures of HOOTER Girl's.

Just some stuff......

I haven't been updating lately because a lot has been going on here and at work and everywhere. I did finally find someone to put in the new bathroom stuff, www.bathfitter.com (her name is Patsy). I would buy 5 bathrooms off of her. lol. WOW not only does she know her stuff but she is great on the eyes. lol. Anyway.... They are getting everything in and will call me within 2 weeks or so to set up a day that week to come in and do it all. They are going to do it all in 1 day lol. I cant wait at all. It is going to be great I think. I will have a before and after page on my website when things get going. I have been working a lot lately on some updates and some other projects that are going on at work and things are just different there lately. I have also been spending some time just out and about driving and trying to get some stuff out of my mind lol. Well tomorrow is Friday and I think (maybe) Terri, Sharon and myself might be going out again tomorrow night for dinner at Timbers as our weekly work release. I hope everyone is doing well. I have gotten some great emails so thanks. Well I guess I should end things here for now. CYA

Thursday - Long day

I got up and headed into work. I had a meeting with Tara (new person) and it went really well. I think she is going to be great to work with and also for the company. I then went to lunch and at by the pond again. I came back and did some more things and worked on some new contracts for Copiers and ended up leaving around 5:30pm. I went with Nicole and Tina at the EndZone. It was OK, not the best time but OK. I then headed home and played with HD for a few and watched some TV. Then I thought hmmmm I might as well go back to work so I am on my way back to work to work till around 12:00 or so. Night and thanks everyone for the great emails.

Another Busy Day...

Wow today... anyway when I got up I headed into work. I worked on some new projects and worked with a new person at work to get her used to things. I then went to lunch at the mouse in Yorktown just to relax and think. I headed over to the Garage to do some things and then back to the main office. I had a few meetings with the CEO and then left work around 5. I got a call from Sarah and I went and met her and her friend for Dinner and we had a great time and I left and headed back to work. I did some things at work till around 9 and headed home. I hope you have a great Thursday and if you need something let me know.

800....... Day

Today is my 800th post lol. Anyway... I got up today and headed to Yorktown to work on something real fast for my CEO and then I headed to Anderson. I worked in the Anderson office all morning and then headed to lunch with Christie and Jenniffer. After leaving there I went back to the Anderson office and worked till about 4. I left and followed Christie home and we headed out to Indy. We got the car washed and then headed to a Movie ( Premonition ) and trust me.. IT SUCKED lol.. no way... wait for the DVD if then lol. We then left there and headed to eat at Uno's ( http://www.unos.com/ ). After that we headed back and I dropped her off and drove home....

Good Monday....

I got up and headed to the office. I worked on some thing's and then headed to lunch. I ate at the Mouse in Yorktown and then headed back to a meeting with the CEO. After we met I mad some calls and called it a day. I went down to the Garage (transportation) for a few and visited with Jenniffer and Mark and talked about some things and then I got a call from Sarah and headed out to have dinner with her. We went for a nice drive and she drove my car. (wow) I know lol. She did a great job. After I left here I drove back and stopped and looked at a new Vette and then came home. I spoke with Mom for a few about some things and then fed and cleaned up HD and gave him some med's and now I am just hanging out watching TV and working on my blog. I tell you what, I did not know that this out side cam project was going to be as hard as it is. I cant seem to find an enclosure that will work.

Nice Sunday....

I got up today and had a guy come and give me a quote for doing Mom's bathroom. I need to have the tub taken out and a shower unit put in so it is easier for her. I also have a company coming 2 weeks from now to give me a quote ( http://www.bathfitter.com/ ) they do a great job and it will look nice. They said it will more then likely be around 3200.00 but it should be well worth it for her. I then went out for a drive and ended up driving by a place here in town called Minnetrista Center ( http://www.minnetrista.net/ ) and then I headed out to PETSMART to find out about a recall on food. I give HD (little man) IAM's hard food but I give him a treat of gravy and meat from IAM's about every other day. Well guess what.. That food has been called back because it is causing deaths in kittens. (BETTER not happen here). So I then left there and headed to get me something to eat at the Port (Mexican) here in town. I picked it up and went to the park to eat. I left there and headed to work for a few. I left there and went to Wall-mart and picked up a new CD ( http://www.lilyallenmusic.com/ ) It is really good. I also picked up a Radio for the Anderson Office and also a new light for the back yard. I left there and came home and worked on the yard and put feed in the bird feeders and cleaned up the house and did some laundry. I also decided I am going to chill out with going to lunch with people, going to dinner with people and trying to WIN friends. If someone wants to do something with me they can call me ya know. I try so hard I think I turn people off and I don't want that.... I hope everyone has a great night........

Saturday... Blah Blah Blah

I got up today around 11:20am. After a long Friday.. Today is not a good day for me at all. As you guys might know I usually have some serious mood swings. I never NEVER see a glass as being half full. It is always half empty. I know in my heart that after every great thing there is going to be something to knock it down or I will dwell and make it so. Well today is that day for me. I had a pretty good day yesterday and today I am paying for it. I don't know how people can do it, as far as every day trying new things or meeting new people or what ever. I cant make myself happy really (honestly happy) anymore let alone be able to share things with people lol. This blog was meant to be a release of my thoughts and my feelings back when I started it. Now it seems that if I put that I had a date or get together with someone I hurt someon one's feelings. If I put that I am unhappy with how things are going here at the house (my thoughts) then I hurt family members. If I put things about work then it hurts people I work with. I know I have issues and I am working on again and trying to get help for these things, but...... I am 38 and feel like I am sometimes 88 with nothing to show for it. Sure I have a great car, sure I have a great job but when it comes down to it that is about it for me as of right now. I have great friends from the net and that is a totally great thing. But my in person friendships, ones that I can bond with, go out with, hang out with build solid friendships SUCK Butts... I always tend to dwell, or cause something that ruins it or just cant keep my mouth shut when it needs to be. It honestly isn't anything for me to go out with a girl have a great night, and call that girl the next day and say hey I have a great guy that I think you would like, or I might say that you should hang out with someone else.. I always try to push things away before it can be something. I am not doing this blog today to get you to make comments " SO PLEASE DON'T " I am writing this to let you (people that care enough to read this blog) just to know more about me Patrick. I am an all or nothing type of person, If I cant have something now 110% of it then why bother. That was and is my thoughts all the time on a lot of things. Most of the people I hurt (or annoy) are those that I work with because that is all that I hang out with. I don't go to bars because I don't really fit in with that type of crowd. I don't go to events because I really don't like crowds at all. I don't go out a lot because I always worry, or dwell or say or do something that ruins it. I can have a total blast one minute and be totally pissed or upset or down the next. I READ into everything way to much. I have an issue with feeling guilty for what ever. A lot of people say why do you always buy all the time when you go out with people. Well it is because I feel honestly I am not worth much as a friend or person so if I buy for people then they will want to hang out more often with me. Even though I know that is wrong that is what I do. I do that with everything, I buy things or give things or do things for people to gain attention. I have a negative self esteem. I wouldn't want to hang out with me let alone someone else lol wanting to. lol.. lol.. some days are OK, some are very low but never is the day just 100% REAL and myself. I feel I live 3 lives, 1) the life of Patrick at work..... 2) the life of Patrick having to be the way his family thinks he should. 3) the Patrick that just wants to do what ever when ever and not worry about what people think or say about me. IT is very hard living 3 lives.. I know this is bad but sometimes I wish I had no family, so I could go out and try things or do things and just be Me and not have to worry about family finding out or telling other family people what I did or tried or what ever. Sometimes I wish I didn't have work so that I could just get AWAY from people saying help me do this or help me do that or this doesn't work or can you make this work.. Sometimes I wish I didn't have issues so I could go out and enjoy crowds and talk about anything. It's not that I am a bad person and wants to go out and drink or do drugs or what ever but I want to know that I "Patrick" can just be myself and not what others think I should be. One person I admire is Carol... (why) because... She is her own person. She has her own place, her own job, she does what she wants when she wants, she can have people over day or night, she can have a drink of wine if she wants she can smoke if she wants (she doesn't but) she is the nicest person that would do anything for anyone anytime and she enjoys life. Sure people have issues and problems (doesn't everyone down deep) but it is people that can be free to express that and not feel they are going to be talked about, or addressed by family members or what ever. OK another thing.. I am 38 years old and I take care of and help out with my mother. I have no problem with this, but... I love to feel wanted, or love to feel close to someone it doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or do what ever but to have someone be able to come over and just watch a movie and if we want to cuddle up and just lay there and talk about life and vent and be open and who cares if we fall asleep and wake up in the morning who cares, but yet I could never even think about doing that. I would be talked about, or said how can you do that, or that is bad for someone to do that if you aren't married or what ever. I have different views then other people and other people have different vies then myself. I personally right now think that, that would just be the ultimate thing is to just lay back and cuddle and watch and move and when it is over just turn it off, dark room, talk and laugh and relax and fall asleep.. I guess cuddle buddies or what ever. I know that my family would probably FREAK or say something to others in my family or want me to move out and probably will be upset when they read this but.. I am 38 and half my life is pretty much over and I am afraid to even live a little. Does this at all make sense. I don't want to leave mother alone in this house and have her fend for herself, I don't want to worry about her needing or wanting or what ever for anything.. I try and treat her good, provide things and just take care of things but I also want to feel I am Patrick a person not Patrick a son. Does this make since. I feel I am not really tied down but not a normal single 38 year old man. My brother Jeff is the only one in my entire family I feel like I could tell anything to and he would be honest and cool about everything and be behind me. I don't have a great relationship with him anymore because of my moods and my issues but he is the coolest brother anyone could have.. A huge heart. Well now I am just rambling on and it isn't making much since anymore. I just needed to vent and let it out and just explain somethings. Enough is enough for today.. I hope everyone is ok.. PLEASE do not make comments about this blog. It is just a release of thoughts and energy for myself. Thank you for reading it though......

WOW FRIDAY.................

OK here is where I started my day... I got up and got little man (HD) ready for his appt. in Indy. We headed out around 8:50am and stopped and got a drink. We then took off for Indy. I got there around 9:50am and walked into the Specialist's and WOW can I just say they are the so Nice wow. (plus hot) lol. We left there after they found an ulcer on his eye. I have 2 new med's to give him 2x a day (Nalbuphine 1.2%) and (Floxacin 0.3%). Left there and went next door for another appt. YES BATH and EAR and MASSAGE time (and love on time). They treat HD so Nice here ( http://www.bestfriendspetcare.com/ctr_indianapolis.cfm ) he wasn't able to spend a lot of time with his favorite person there :( but. She is really nice also. While he was there I went and had lunch at HOOTERS ( http://www.hooters.com/ )(met up with a friend) lol. Then back to pick up little man. We came back and stopped in at the Garage so Jenniffer, Liz and Mark could see him. I them came home lol.. Then I went out and met up with Terry, Sharon and Ruth for a few drinks and to talk about some things. I left there and headed to Anderson. I met up with someone there and WOW that is all I can say. We went to dinner at Garfield's and talked with a friend there and laughed so hard. Us 3 made plans for Wednesday night to do something that is going to be a blast. We then went to the movies (Had to see Hogs) lol. Left there and went back and talked for a few before she left. All I can say is WOW it was really the best evening I have had in a long long time. I left there totally dumbfounded and headed to work at 12:00am lol. I got to work and worked till about 2am. I left there and came home. Then ring ring.. I got a call from Blaire wanting to come over and hang out and talk. So she did and she left around 6am. Can I just say TIRED TIRED TIRED long long day. I then just CRASHED lol. Below are some pictures of Lunch. lol.

Work Thursday....

I got woke up with some emails for work at 6:00am. I worked on that till 8:03am. Laid back down and slept till I got a phone call from work at 8:22am. I then went back to bed to be woke up again at 9:20am. FORGET IT. I got up and headed out for a drive and then headed to work to go to lunch with Jenniffer and Mark. After that I came back and worked with Erica at the Garage and then back at the main office. I came home and talked to a few people and then started watching TV. I ordered some things for HD on the Internet and now I am just chilling. Ya know... I wonder sometimes how my life would be if I was not in this area. Being able to speak my mind, being able to do what I want when I want, able to just be ME. I need a break so bad. I feel honestly like I am getting round up like a rubber band and I am going snap. I hate FAKE people, I hate people that just play to play. I don't understand why I do what I do. I honestly feel like I need to just GET AWAY...... Oh Well. I better get to bed soon. I have to take HD to Indy in the morning. My webcam will be online if you want to watch us drive there and hang out and come back. I will be leaving around 8:50am or So.

Wet Wednesday...

I got up today and headed to work.. Ended up having an OK morning. I then went to lunch with Jennifer and Mark and had a GREAT time. Jenniffer and Mark work in our Transportation Department. Jenniffer just got a promotion and I think she is going to be great at it. She is 110% business.. I then came to the Garage (Transportation) and worked on their computers for a few to set up a file and then I left and went to the DMV. I got my plates for both the RED and YELLOW car and then headed home. I talked with Sarah in the Anderson office for a few and then ended up having to go back to the Garage (Transportation) to fix a printer issue that couldn't wait. I left there and headed back home and relaxed and watched some TV. I am BEAT... I am off for the next few days but we will see how that goes. I hope everyone has a great day tomorrow.

Monday Monday Monday

Well... I am back.... After a long long weekend of nothing but working and working and coming home and sleeping for a few and going back to work I am BACK... lol Basically it was a great day today but just really fast. I got up and headed into the office "TIRED" as heck and then had a meeting till around 10:30am and then worked in my office for a few. Then Jennifer stopped in and we talked for a few min and ended up going to lunch. I came back from lunch and worked in the office and met with the CEO for a few about some thing and then I headed out. I came home and went to the grocery (blah blah blah) then came back and worked around the house a little. I cooked dinner (if that is what you call it). I tried to put something together (yes me cooking). I put 2 cups of milk in a pan and 2 cups of HOT water, 1/4 cup of butter, 2 cans of TUNA (yes tuna) and some noodles and a cheese packet lol. It wasn't bad when I ate it but wow.. lol afterwards lol wow. I watched a GREAT movie it was really good (A Good Year) and now I am watching What About Bryan.. Then I am off to bed. lol.

Fun Friday...

Well after a great night last night (got a mani and a pedi and had dinner with Mikey and his wife) and then came home and crashed. I got up today and headed to work. I ate lunch by the pond and just relaxed on a great great day. I worked till around 5:30 when Terry, Sharon and I went to dinner. We had a blast and talked and laughed and the waitress was 100% great. She was so funny and awesome. She wants us to come back next week so what the heck.. why not lol. Now I am sitting around the house working on computers and getting ready for a long weekend of working. Talk to you soon.

Answer Tuesday....

Well today started off again, busy with a lot of things going on at work. I don't want to say that I am need help but sometimes I just get so hmm I don't know.. Anyway.... I think I might of found some things that will help with the outside cam project. I also think I am going to be cutting up my garage wall lol with another cam project. lol. People ask me "Patrick why do you go into work all the time, on weekends and at night and work from home". My reply to that is.. I love what I do, I feel like that is my calling for now, and that it (kind of completes me). In a way I guess. Its like, If I get lonely (work) is always there. If I feel bored (work) is always there. If I take vacation days (work) is always there. I went on vacation 3 years or so maybe more ago to Florida with 3 girls from work. I basically worked all week in the room and hung out on the computer all night. A lot of you know that "In Person" FRIENDS are not really a part of my life as far as having a best friend or something like that. I guess my WORK is my best friend. It is always there for me when ever I need it and when I am away from it (day off) something is always wrong or needs to be done so it kind of calls my name. Does that make since. lol. So to answer a lot of the emails I have been getting lol wow that was TMI.. lol To answer another question... I do my site because I "CAN" lol no honestly I do my site because I like to let people see in on me anytime they need and to let people know what can be done with technology and "GEEKism" lol. I have done it now wow for a long long long time and it just gets bigger and bigger lol. I just like to know that people are watching, and actually enjoy something that I have created.... Whelp on that note (ding ding dong) I am going to bed. Thanks again for visiting the site and if you need anything just let me know.

Sunny Sunday...

I got up today and played with HD and just hung out for a few. I then headed to work and to eat. I ended up not going in.. (too much work)... I came home and worked around the house and found out my car is done and ready to be picked up tomorrow. I have dreamed about it for the last 2 nights lol. Man I missed it.. I am then going to take it to the body shop to have some detail work done (I know I am a freak for perfect things). I need everyone's help. I am beginning a new project (Project Garage CAM). I am going to be taking my REMOTE cam that is in front of my house (in the office window) and moving it outside above the garage either on the garage roof or on a tower. I need to know if anyone can find me and send me a link for a GLASS, HEAVY PLASTIC, or something that might work as a globe. It needs to be at least 13in. In diam. and have an opening on the bottom of at least 5 in. I want to mount it on plexy glass and it should be good to go. It needs to be round. (smoked glass would be nice) if you find something let me know. I am looking also. I hope everyone has a great Sunday.. I am cooking chili and just relaxing. I will be working in Anderson most of the day Tomorrow (Car cam will be on).

Long Friday....

I got up this morning and headed to work. I then went to lunch with Tina, Beth, Nicole, Lavella, Jeannie to the EndZone... We came back to work and ended up working till 5 and then Nicole, Beth and I went to Applebees for Dinner and hung out till around 7:30 and then Nicole and I came back to work and ended up working till around 12:00 or so. Wow what a long night.. Anyway I hope everyone had a great day and a great weekend. If you need something let me know.